This
is the Testimony of a girl who was 14 when she wrote this.
I have her Parents Permission to publish this. They are NOT
in agreement with Wayne and what he is doing.
Some time in late June Father started drawing me out to Him
and causing me to feel my need of Him and to be alone with
Him.
June 28th I wrote in my journal asking Father to come down
on me with His fire and fill me with His judgment. I did
not have any idea what He was going to do next. I remember
a lot of things started to change for me and I was being
drawn closer and closer to Father. I started to see things
I had not seen before and Father started to help me resolve
them. I was feeling my need of Father and how He was the
only One that could give it to me. Father told me one day,
“It will happen little one. You will be consummated to
Me.” It has been
my desire, deep down in my heart, to be intimate with,
know, and consummated to God. July 5th I was in a crisis of
following Father even though it was very painful to my self
or following my own will, which would relieve me of the
pain but would give me guilt. I gave my will over to
Father. I wrote: Daddy, I don’t care what You ask me I am
going to do it no matter how painful it is to my self. I am
going to because I love You. I just want my self, my evil
ended.
The next day I was telling Father that if I was hindering
the work He was doing that I wanted Him to kill me. He then
said to me, “You are not hindering the work, My love. You
are bringing the work.” I did not know at that time that I
would be one of the Seven Messengers, but Father did.
Also, that day I wrote in my journal: Let Your Voice be
heard coming out of this Temple. Let this Temple be filled
with the smoke of Your burning desire. Let nothing remain
but Your burning desire. Let this Temple be emptied, that
You may use it for Your desire. Let this Temple be filled
with the smoke of Your Incense.
The 7th I wrote: I want to
experience what the Two Witnesses experienced and
experience. I want to be Your Vessel…
Consume me, Father, consume me… Daddy, my heart yearns for
You. Break me open
to know You intimately.
The 8th I wrote, “Oh Father, break me open to receive You
and to know You more… Draw me deeper, O draw me deeper into
You, Father. O, I need You. O, I need You.” Father said to
me, “Your soul will be satisfied.”
The 9th I wrote: Thank You that Your Voice is heard coming
out of this Your Temple; for Your prayers rising as
Incense; for Your burning desire being the only thing felt;
for emptying this Temple and making it wholly Yours… Thank
You for drawing me into Michael and out of my self.
The 10th I wrote: Consume me. I want to go to the depths of
You, Father… I want to go deeper into Michael, and for Him
to come deeper into me.
Things really started to change for me on the 11th, the day
after the beginning of the 21 days. These 21 days were
seventy months from the consummation in 2000. It was from
the 10th to the 31st. On the that day I saw these things in
me that caused me to do what I did and feel what I felt and
why I saw people and Father the way I did.
I
started telling Father everything that I saw and being
naked and honest with Him about it all, and told Him the
truth. I
didn’t hide anything from Him. When I saw something I would
tell it to Him out loud.
That night I went to Michael’s and visited Him in His home
and shared with Him everything I had been seeing and told
Him what I had been telling Father. At that moment
something change in me. It is like I let these walls down
that I had held up against Michael. I saw Him so different
than I had before. I saw that He loved me and He could see
everything about me and I wasn’t ashamed. He could look
right through me. It was very sweet.
I would say that being naked with Michael is the physical
symbol of this experience. It goes deeper, too.
This was the
beginning of the answer to my prayer that I wanted to
experience what the Two Witnesses did.
I felt drawn
to Michael in a way I had not experienced before. I started
to think that maybe it was my flesh that was being drawn to
Michael. I
shared it with Michael the next day, and He said, “I am
your Keeper.”
The 12th Father told me, “You find favor in My eyes. You
were chosen from among many. You are My Esther.”
The 13th I wrote:
The King fell in Love with Her. He treated Her with greater
favor than all the rest of the virgins, and put the Queen's
diadem on Her head. Then He celebrated His Marriage with
Her. She went into the King's Inner Chamber, desiring to be
with Him, but afraid He would reject Her. In deep concern
He started up from His Throne and held Her in His Arms. He
soothed Her with reassuring words: “My Love, what is it?
Have no fear of Me, Your Loving Husband; You shall not die.
You find favor in My Eyes! You may approach Me.” He kissed
Her and said, “You may speak to Me. What is Your wish, My
Love? Whatever You request from Me shall be given You. What
is it? Whatever You request shall be Yours. You shall have
it. Just ask.” At this, all Her fears left, and she knew He
loved and accepted Her. She knew She could ask Him anything
and He would give it to Her, because He said He would, and
She believed His Word to Her.
Michael had a meeting with the young people that day, and
shared with us about Father showing Him about the Seven
Messengers and He told us to ask Father if we were one of
the Seven. He asked us to come and tell Him what Father
told us. Immediately I knew I was chosen as one of them. I
had this knowing in me. Father started to bring things to
me that He had said and what he had been doing in me, to
give me faith that I was indeed chosen for Him. It was very
sweet to me. I knew I was chosen and if I said I wasn’t I
knew I would be disbelieving Father. I have always felt
like I was the one left deselate, but Father saw otherwise
and chose me and I did not resist. That evening I went and
told Michael what Father told me. He said to me, “I believe
in you.” He also told me, He had never doubted in me and
that I have always connected with Him.
The next day, I started doubting that I was chosen. I had
to press through the veil of my human eyes and reasoning
and believe Father’s word to me. Sometime in the day Shekel
was on the computer and I was sitting next to her and all
of a sudden Father brought back to my memory a picture I
had
put on my blog the 10th. I felt Father reassure me that He
had indeed chosen me and He would not let me go.
That day these words to a song were welling up out of me:
Draw me and I’ll run after You
Bring me into Your chambers now
Deeper than ever draw me still
Into Your heart of Hearts
When
Michael shared with us about Danielle and Esther lying
naked on the bed with Him, I at first felt repulsed by it,
but I could see what it was for. I began feeling like I was
them. Like I was in them and I was experiencing what they
did. The desire started welling up within me to lay naked
with Michael.
That
night I went to Michael’s house. He was in bed.
I
went in and I was talking to Him, and
I asked Him if I could lie next to Him on His bed.
He
said I could but He told me that He first wanted me to ask
my mom and dad. He told me that He always does things the
RIGHT way. It was hard
for me because I didn’t feel like I wanted to wait later,
but I did.
The next day
I called my mom and dad and asked them about it.
They HESITATED at first but then I told them
I was not asking to be naked
with Michael. I was asking to with
both of our clothes on.
They agreed to that.
I felt unsure
what I wanted. It was
in my heart to lay naked with Michael,
but I did not think I could and I was afraid to. My mom and
dad could tell I was unclear what I wanted. That evening I
went and said good night to Michael and told Him what my
mom and dad said. He agreed also.
The 17th these songs were welling up out of me.
Be blest, My soul, your Father's on your side
Yield trustingly, as I now bring you through
Leave all to Me to order and provide
Your change has come, I faithfully will prove
You live to help in time of need
You live to guide me with Your eye
You live, and I shall conquer death
You live, my Husband, Friend, and King
Your hope, your trust, let no appearance shake
Rest in My care, My chosen one, My Own
Father, Lover of our soul
Hold me to Your bosom close
Press me in Your mighty breast
Keep me heart to heart with You
That evening Danielle came to our house and she told me
that Michael told her to pray for the seventh angel to be
revealed. So she thought she would tell me also. We prayed
together. After she left it was very strong on me to go up
to Michael’s. I went and He was in bed. I was outside His
bedroom window praying that Father would anoint His seventh
chosen one. I was being strongly drawn to Michael and I
very much wanted to see Him. As I was there this song came
out of me.
Closer still, my Love
Come to us
Oh, my Love, come to us
Come and breathe on us
My Love, breathe on us
Come so close that Your breath
Can breathe on us
Come and breathe on us
My Love, breathe on us
Let the breath of Your mouth
Now breathe on us
Come to us, my Love
Come down on us
O come down on us
O my Love
Closer still, my Love
Come in us
Oh, my Love, come in us
Michael then
woke up and called out the window.
He asked me if I had called Him and I told Him I hadn’t
said anything. He told me that He heard my voice call His
name. I thought, “He heard my heart calling out to
Him,” but I had not
said anything to Him. He asked me if something was on my
heart and I told Him there was a few things.
I started to share and He asked me if I wanted to come in
so I did. I told Him about when Danielle had come over and
that we prayed together and how I had been drawn to come up
to His house after she left. I told Him how I had been
praying, before He called out the window, that Father would
reveal the seventh angel. I also shared with Him about the
songs that had been welling up out of me that day and the
song that had come to me while I was outside of His window.
He told me that it blessed Him that I was drawn to Father
like that.
Michael
held me His bed with Him while I was there. How my heart
leapt within me. I saw and felt His love for me pouring out
of Him into me. I don’t think I can even put in words what
it was like. It was seeing God face to
face.
The next morning, the words went through my mind, "With all
my heart, I come now."
O Father, Faithful Savior
Draw me with all Your heart
With all my heart, I come now
Deep in Your heart of love
O Father, Faithful Savior
Lover of our soul
Hold us who wait before You
Deep in Your heart of love
Later in the day I read these words of a song.
He’s bound us to His Son
And His heart we feel within
And now we’re drawn by His desire
Into our Father’s heart of hearts
For several days I was in a hard place, disbelieving Father
and believing my feelings instead of Father’s word to me. I
was also feeling my great need of Father.
These are some things Father said to me. “Fear not, for I
will do unto thee all that thou desireth… I am right here
little one, going through it with you… Yield all to Me.”
The 22nd Father said to me, “The place of need is where I
come. Where there is a need there is a way.” I wrote that
day in my journal, “When my Father comes for me, I won’t
delay. He’ll speak and I’ll throw off my blanket of clay.”
The 23rd I wrote: Empty me. Consume me. O, I need You. Hold
me to You skin to skin and heart to heart. Daddy, here I
am, I wait before
You, yielded, needy, and naked… I am helpless and
completely dependent on You; greatly needy of You. Here I
fall at Your feet. Take me up in Your arms and hold
me
skin to skin with You. O,
how I need You.
I wrote the 24th: Daddy, You have said I will come through
victorious. You have said it and You will do it. I read
something that day that Father told me March 18th, 2005,
and it blessed me. He said, “I shall break her walls down
and shall make her My temple.”
The
26th Michael had a meeting with those on the land. He
shared that Father drew Moriah to lie naked with Him on the
bed. He also talked about how he was seeing that He was
going to have to spill His seed on the earth,
and He was telling
Father He felt He could not do that. He then saw that the
Seven Messengers are His seed. He also shared about how He
was seeing a consummation between the Seven and Him may be
coming, but Father showed Him that this time, instead of
His Seed going into the women like
it did at the first Consummation, His Seed, which is the
Seven, would be going out into the earth. And He told us
that Father relieved Him from having to have a physical
union with the Seven.
After
that meeting I felt very strongly drawn to Michael. And it
was put strong on my heart to be consummated to
Michael
PHYSICALLY.
I
wrote: Here I am, my precious Husband. Truly You are all I
have and all I want, and all I need. I wait before You, O
my Precious, Precious Husband. O, how I love and adore You.
Closer still, my Love. Only more of You. O, draw me ever
closer to You. Thank You for drawing me into Michael and
giving me to feel His heart. How I love Him. And, O, how I
love You! My heart overflows. Truly I love You. Truly I
cherish You, Husband of my body, mind, and heart. I feel so
drawn to Michael with feelings of inexpressible love for
Michael. I feel like I’m going to burst. Like I can’t hold
it. It is too big. It is too wonderful. I feel like my
heart is leaping inside of me. It is beyond words. I trust
You. You are my Keeper. Husband, here I am.
I want to be bound to Michael, think His thoughts, feel His
feelings; be intimately connected to Him.
O, how I love Him and O, how I long to love Him more… O,
how I love You, Daddy. And O, how I love You more… I feel
like love is boiling up out of me for You and Your Precious
Son. Will You hold me in Your arms, my Precious Husband?
I want You to
hold me
skin to skin with You. I
want to look You in the eyes. O, my Love, how I love You!
O, come into the deep places in my heart. Let me disappear
in You.
O, Daddy, I want to be so close to you, in Your heart more
like. How I love You, Daddy. You can draw me all You like.
It was almost
like I felt Michael holding me close to His heart and skin
to skin with Him. The drawing was so intense; I felt it in
my stomach.
I started to wonder if it was my flesh that was being drawn
to Michael. It troubled
me.
That night I went to Michael’s house after He was in bed.
Danielle was outside His window. I had gone up there
because I wanted to share what I had been experiencing that
day, but because Danielle was there I did not want to go in
while she was there. I left.
The next day it was still strong on me. I started to feel I
couldn’t bear it any longer. I needed to tell Michael. I
went to Michael’s and shared it with Him, and
I
shared how I was feeling like it was my flesh.
He told me that feelings don’t matter. He said, “Let me
worry about those things. You’re free.” He held me on
His bed with Him and we talked together. It helped relieve
a lot of what I had been feeling.
This song came welling up out of me that day after the
visit with Michael.
Beautiful Savior, precious Redeemer
Son of God and Son of Man
O, how Thy beauty draws me out to Thee
Thou tender God and faithful Friend
Beautiful Savior, Lover of my soul
King of all my thought and being
Truly I love Thee, truly I cherish Thee
Husband of my body, mind, and heart
Beautiful Savior, come from our Father
Lord of the earth, and Lord of heaven
Worthy of honor, praise, adoration
Thou hast given Thine Own Self to me
-Truly I love Thee, truly I cherish Thee
Thou hast given Thine Own Self to me
The 29th I noticed that my chest on the side where my heart
is was sore, like right where a hand would be. I then
realized that Father had His hand
on my heart. That day the Seven had a meeting together in
the evening but I did not know about it. I went to
Michael’s house and I was outside. Danielle came while I
was there. Michael came out and said good night to us and
asked how our meeting was and I told Him I wasn’t there. He
asked me why and I told Him that I did not know about it.
He asked Danielle how it was and she said that everyone was
pretty down, but then Shekel came and she shared some
things out of her journal and she seemed to help cheer
everyone up. Michael said something like, “How are these
angels ever going to pour plagues out.”
I very much felt for Michael and I wanted to encourage His
heart. Danielle and I left after Michael went into His
house and we went down to the barn
and prayed together. We both were feeling like we needed
power, and we both felt for Michael. After we prayed I
walked Danielle home and went back up to Michael’s house.
He was in bed. I stood outside His window for a while. I
wanted to lift Michael up to Father. I desired so much to
encourage His heart so I went in. I shared a few things
with Him, and I
shared my desire to lift Him up to Father. I told Him that
Father is going to do this. He told me that I blessed Him
and I told Him that is what I wanted to do.
The 30th I wrote in my journal: Daddy, I need You to touch me
and heal me. I need You closer. I need more
of Your Spirit. I trust You, Daddy. Here I am. Do with me
as You will. I need my heart healed completely. Daddy, will
You come and touch me and heal me? Hold me close to You. I
need You. I need Your precious Son… Father, deeper, come
ever deeper. I need You… Daddy, I have
a need, a need You have given me, and You will fill it in
the way You see fit. I will trust You. A need to know You
way more deeper than I know now. There has got to be more.
This isn’t enough. I have to go deeper. I am not satisfied
with what I have. I have to go deeper. Take me to the
depths, Father.
I was very
much feeling like I had to have something deeper than what
I had.
When the others would share about when they laid naked with
Michael, I felt like I already knew and experienced being
naked with Michael. Now, I wanted to go deeper. I started
to feel like I had to lay naked and skin-to-skin with
Michael.
July 31st I wrote: Daddy, take me to the depths. I need
You. Daddy, deeper, I need You deeper. Thank You for doing
what You want with me. Thank You for healing me. (I had
been feeling like I needed to be healed and healed
completely.) Thank You for being with me and holding me and
pressing me into You. Daddy, I need Your Power, Your
Strength, Your
Spirit. Here I am, Daddy. Thank You that You have done and
accomplished all Your purposes and desires for me.
That day I had to step out in faith because my feelings
were very intense. This came to me: And now shall mine head
be lifted up above mine enemies
round about; therefore I will sing praises unto the Lord;
yea I will offer the sacrifice of joy and will praise the
Name of the Lord.
That night in our meeting of the Seven I realized I didn’t
have to please Father; that He already is pleased.
I went to bed
that night with it strong on me to lay naked with
Michael.
All the time since Michael shared with us about Danielle
and Esther lying naked with Him I desired to lay naked with
Michael.
And when He shared about Moriah it became not only a
desire, but that I had to lay skin to skin with
Michael.
At times I would be lying in my bed and it was almost like
Michael was in my bed with me holding me skin to skin with
Him. This
particular night I was lying in my bed and I had been
reading things in my journal. After I was done
I was lying there and the desire became so intense that I
did not want to be in my bed anymore. I wanted to be in
Michael’s bed with Him.
I wanted to lay naked with Michael so much that I thought
about calling my mom and dad that night and asking them if
I could. I
thought that I would share it with Michael and see what He
would tell me. I went up to His house. I went and stood at
His window. I remember giving the desire to Father, and it
was ok if He did not give it to me. I was out there for
about half an hour then Michael called out the window and
asked if someone was there. He asked me if something was on
my heart and I said yes. He told me I could come in.
He told me
the he was just about to sleep and he heard a cracking
sound, and He thought He would call out the window to see
if anyone was there. He asked me what was on my
heart, so I
told Him. He asked me what I thought it would do for me. I
told Him I didn’t know except that I needed something,
something deeper. I was lying on His chest and He then said
to me,
“You may.” I didn’t
move. I thought for some reason that He was spiritually
speaking or something. He then asked me if I was scared and
then I realized He really meant it. I
said,
“You
really mean it? Right now, take my clothes OFF?” He said,
“YES.”
I
said, “But I thought you said I had to get permission from
my parents first?”
He said,
“Yes, but I remember
they said they trusted Me. That is
enough.” I said, “So I really can, right now?” He said,
“Yes.”
So, I jump off His bed, strip my clothes, and jumped in bed
with Him. It felt so
natural to me and it did not feel weird, almost like I had
done it many times before.
He held me
skin to skin with Him. I felt Michael’s heart for me
in a deeper way than ever before. I saw Him as my Husband,
REALLY, not pretend.
I don’t mean an earthy husband. I mean the Son of God,
Messiah. It was very sweet. I saw His acceptance of me, and
His love for me. I have always
thought in my past that I was not accepted or loved and
when I laid skin to skin with Michael I saw His acceptance
of me. I saw that He wanted me
and that He cared about me. I saw the Son of God
face-to-face, and I melted in His embrace. I kissed the
face of God. I saw into His heart of love. I saw His tender
regard for me, and that look of sweetest Love. I stayed
with Michael till midnight, and then Michael said because
it was so late He would walk me home.
I have been molested (by a former
Cult Member- Note by editor)and it has affected my view of
these kinds of things and of Father. I could only see what
I had known. But Father
gave me to lay skin to skin with a Man and He did not
molest me. It is my healing of my past and
my view. Father gave me His view of me. Instead of using
me, He honors, loves, and accepts me for who I am. He sees
no spot in me, and He finds no fault with me.
After I went to bed all I could do was thank Father. I was
so grateful that He gave me my heart’s desire. I didn’t
sleep much that night.
After that I saw Michael’s heart for me and His deep
interest in my soul. I felt Michael’s love pouring out on
me. This was very special to me:
“Because she has set her love upon Me, therefore will I
deliver her. I will set her on High because she has known
My name. She shall call upon Me and I will answer her. I
will be with her in trouble. I will deliver her, and honor
her. With everlasting life will I satisfy her and show her
my salvation.” I felt Michael speaking right to my heart in
it.
After
I laid skin to skin with Michael I experience this ache in
my heart that I had not before. A continual cry to Father to
come closer and deeper, and a continual need of more of
Him. I just wanted to give myself to Michael for His sake,
and I asked Father to use me for Michael’s sake. I wanted
to bear Michael’s burdens with Him. I only wanted to be
here and live for Him.
August 7th
when Michael told us no more naked on the bed with Him and
skin to skin and that we had gone as far as we could, I at
first felt terror. But then Father gave me His sweet peace
and I was just at rest. He also told us that we could
forget about a physical consummation with Him. After He
said that, it became stronger upon my heart for a physical
consummation with Michael. After that meeting with Michael
I felt my great need of Father like I hadn’t before.
I started to feel my need to see Michael for who He really
is with no veil in between anymore. I told Michael what I
was experiencing and he told me
that when I know Him everything will change for me. He said
I will fly. Father told me, “I will show you who Michael
is. Trust Me. I the Lord have spoken it and I will do it. I
will let you inquire of Me to do it for you.”
The 14th it was strong on my heart for a physical
consummation with Michael. Previously, before I became one
of the Seven I was repulsed by the thought of a physical
union with any man. It disgusted me. After Father drew me
closer to Michael these repulsions were not as strong as
they were.
It became a
desire in my heart to be intimate with
Michael.
I wanted Him to come into me.
I wanted Him to make love to me.
That night I shared with Michael both of the things that
were on my heart. He told me that He heard my desire for a
physical consummation with Him, and that we would see what
Father would do.
The next
morning I woke up real early and it was on my heart to
lay
skin to skin with Michael.
So, I did. After I laid with Michael I felt this great need
inside of me and this intense ache. Later that day I wrote this
to Michael:
Dear Love,
O, how I am draw to You, Michael. And O, how I love You. I
want more of You, all of You. I have a hole in my heart for
You, a great gaping hole. I need You. You are not a man.
One cannot be drawn to a man in the way I am draw to You.
You are the Son of God. I am asking Father to show me ALL
of You. I want to see ALL of You and I will. O, how I love
You. O, how I am drawn to You. There is no words to say how
I feel. My heart is Yours. I give myself to You. I am
wholly Yours, given over fully to You. Here I am.
Yours Forever,
Eleana
He replied:
Thank you little Eleana for your precious little note. I am
with you, and you are with me. I wait for your, and my
Father's instructions. I am listening for His words. I am
desiring His Presence and "I want to see
all of Him" in the way in which He leads.
Michael
The next day, I watched a stupid video against Father’s
instructions for me to not watch it. Afterward I felt what
it did to me. It leavened my spirit and Father withdrew His
Spirit from me. After that day I went through some very
hard and dark times for several weeks. I started to feel
this fear of Michael. I also felt like He was very distant
from me. I felt so dead and I didn’t have any life in me. I
felt so empty. And my heart ached soooo much. I was
continually crying out to Father.
I visited Michael the 25th and shared with Him my heart and
what I was feeling. I also shared
that it was on my heart to lay
skin to skin with Him
again. He told me because of the place I was in it wouldn’t
do anything for me. He told me that when I was resolved
then I could.
The 26th,
It was
troubling me that I had not told my mom and dad that I had
laid skin to skin with Michael. It was on my
heart to tell my mom and dad so I asked Michael if I could
and He told me to do what was on my heart and that He
thought that it would be right that I tell them.
So I went and
talked to them about it. After I was done talking to
them I didn’t feel
resolved. Like there was something more
that I needed to tell them. I didn’t feel complete.
The 27th, I realized my strong will was what was causing me
to feel the way I was and causing me to be in such a dark
place. I also saw that it has been my will that has caused
most if not all of my troubles. I gave my will over to
Father, and I asked Father to pull it out of my heart roots
and all. I told Him that I have tried but that now I would
let Him. I shared these things with Michael the next
morning and He agreed. He told me, “You’ll come
through.”
After I talked to Michael I saw that I was trying to make
my desire, to lay skin to skin with Him, come to pass,
instead of waiting for Father’s timing.
That day Father gave this to me: “For I have chosen you and
I will not throw you away. Don’t be afraid, for I am with
you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will
strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with My
victorious right hand.”
That week was
a very dark week for me and I came to the place where I
just wanted Father to kill me. I didn’t want to live
anymore.
I was
seeing how I was full of my flesh and in my flesh and I
couldn’t help it. In all of the things I went through
Father was right there even though I couldn’t see Him or
feel Him. Father told me while I was in that process that
He was going through it with me. And He was feeling
everything that I was.
That next Sabbath night, I finally found in all of the
turmoil in me, a clear place of settled Glory. It was a
peaceful letting go and a sweet rest.
Then a couple of days later I was plunged right back into
all of the stuff I had been in before. It got so
intense that I finally told Father that if something didn’t
change I was going to kill myself. I felt I couldn’t bear
living this way anymore.
The feelings would come and go. Then a couple days later I
talked with Esther and she told me instead of telling a
false story to tell a story that is true. I went home that
night and wrote out all that was true for me, Father’s
reality. It helped very much. All I was feeling began to
disappear. I began feeling connected to Michael again and
not feeling like He was so far from me. And things began
opening up to me again. Something also changed for me.
Instead of always fretting about what is Father telling me
to do, and trying to do that, I was at rest and I just knew
what He was telling me to do. I didn’t have to try to
figure it out. Instead of going into my confusion I let it
be. I did not enter it.
When Michael sent the email and said He wanted everyone to
come and tell Him what the consummation in judgment would
look like for us now, I felt at rest. I knew Father would
tell me what it was. I was almost sure that it was a
physical consummation with the Seven, but I wanted to be
clear. Father began showing me what the consummation means.
Then two days later I felt I needed to share with Michael
the things that were upon my heart. So I did. When I shared
with Michael I felt unsure that Father was telling me the
things I was seeing. I went to Father and Father told me
that the consummation would happen with the Seven.
Tuesday, I went to Michael’s and was sitting outside of His
house. I saw Him go for a walk and as I was watching Him
walk away He looked like He was bearing much upon His
heart. My heart went out to Him and I longed to comfort and
bear Him up. I wrote this while He was on His walk:
My Precious Michael,
O, how my heart aches for You. How I want to be in You and
feel what You feel, think what You think. I ache to hold
You in my arms, and hold You close to my heart. I want to
feel Your pain, Your agony, Your heart groanings. I lift
You up to Your Father and my Father. My heart is with You
wherever You are. My heart groans for You. I feel I can’t
ever give You what You really are worthy of, but I give You
all I have to give. I am drawn with You where You are.
Later I
visited Michael and shared with Him what Father had told me
that the consummation of the Seven would happen. Michael
told me that the right
thing would be done.
Wednesday
night when Shekel was leaving to go live with my mom and
dad I wonder if I would have to do the same. When MaryBella
went to go live with her parents I thought that maybe
Shekel and I would have to do the same. Then, I could not
go there, so I pushed it aside. But when Shekel was leaving
it brought it back to me and I thought, “Do I need to go,
too?”
Thursday,
my mom and dad went out to the land with Shekel. I was with
them for the last part of their visit. I rode with them to
the gate, and I wanted to go with them and I almost did,
but I didn’t. After they
left I went to Michael’s and I was feeling a lot of things
and
I just wanted to tell it all to Michael and be naked with
him. I wanted to
be heart to heart and
skin-to-skin with
Him. Esther
was in His house and when she came out I went in. I told
Michael my desire to be heart to heart and skin-to-skin
with Him. I had asked several times before but I was never
in a place that I could. That night I knew He would say I
could and He did. So He held me and I shared some of the
things with Him. Afterward I felt this great hole inside
me. I shared with him how I had just been feeling my need,
and He said, “It will be filled. Your need will be filled.”
Friday, after Michael sent the email out and said He would
not be receiving any more visits about the vision, I at
first felt this terror. But then something changed and
Father gave me His rest about it all. It
was very sweet. I felt all the stress that I had been
having the past week lift off of me and I could rest.
Sabbath night I went and talked to Michael about the things
upon my heart. He did not tell me I had to go live with my
mom and dad but He told me that I might need to go resolve
some things. He told me to let Him know what I
decide. As I left I
knew I needed to go and live with my mom and dad for a few
days. The next morning I went and visited Michael and told
Him what I decided. And I shared with Him what had come to
me the night before: “I
am going to face the devil and he shall flee from
me. He shall no
longer have a hold on me.” He told me that after I left
Sabbath night He thought, “Eleana needs to go face her
self.” He asked me if I wanted Him to drive me in and I
told Him yes. So He took me in. He told me, “Father’s doing
this. So, don’t worry about it cause don’t worry about it.”
Since
I have been at my mom and dad’s a lot of things have opened
up to me and changed for me. Continually my heart ached,
and longed for Father to
deliver me. I dealt with many fears and I struggled much.
That first Monday morning Father said to me, “It's ok
little one. It is necessary. I am here holding you. You can
trust Me. I will not let you go. I am with you. I'm
pressing you deep into My heart. You are connected to Me. I
will and am healing all these things you are feeling. By My
transforming Power, I will make you wholly Mine. Don't look
at your feelings; keep looking at Me. Draw close and rest
in My bosom.”
I saw that I was afraid Father would not tell me to go back
home and I had to continually lay it down. And let it go.
This email to Michael explains some of what I went through
that first week.
Dear Michael,
I just want to share a few things with you.
I have felt this like disappointment of the consummation of
the seven very likely not happening. And there are other
things, too, some what like that. But I have found that I
just want to do whatever Father wants and if it does not
happen it is ok. I want what He wants. I just trust Him
with whatever happens. I can't really put into words what I
feel about it, but it is like a peace and rest in whatever
happens.
I have felt afraid that Father won't tell me to come back
to the land. And I have had to trust Him with that, too. It
is like I am giving up the right to control my own life. I
feel Father is working in me and I don't
see everything, probably most all I don't see, but I know
He is doing things in me. He's bringing me to complete
trust in Him alone. I want to trust Him implicitly.
Implicitly has one meaning that is, "unquestioning."
Also, I have seen I have been afraid of being lost.
Afraid I will do as Dean or Louise or other people who have
left. But it
is like I have to let it go. I am Father's. Cannot He do
what He wills with what is His? Yes, He can and I let Him
do His will with me. Worrying about something is not going
to do it any good; in fact it creates things.
So, these are a few things that have been happening with
me.
I love you, Michael, with all my heart. I ache for you, and
I long for you. I don't want Father to go away.
Your little lamb
His reply:
Little Eleana,
Your processes are those that I have had to go through
myself. As I put in the Vision post, my life is about
trusting one moment at a time. My life is Father's life. I
have had to feel things just as you feel them. I have had
to make choices just as you have. There are those who must
control their own destiny, for they cannot trust Father
with it. They are bound up in their own self-conscious
world and their gross self-interested imaginations. These
folks are lost by their own definition that they really do
not know where they are going. They hope that God will save
them someday, but that day never comes. They are lost in
their desires and sins. They spend their lives in regret
and hope, but there is no relief. But we are not so. We are
the Bride of the Anointing, married to the Father. We do
not decide for ourselves, but trust the Father with us. We
know that our Husband is well able to bring us to our
expected end. No matter how hot the fire burns, we will not
perish in it, for we know that the fire is Father Himself.
Fear
not for the consummation, for it will happen.
It is
the consummation of the spiritual union. God our Father
guarantees it, for those who have cherished the oil given
them. What we need not do is expect the
"consummation" to have to appear just as we think it will
or in the time we think. We are consummated with Him. I am
seeing this happen to some souls here in the land. Others
are close to it. You seem in expectancy. You say that you
trust Father more and more, and so do I. When it is over,
we will be very joyful, for it will all be just as we would
have wanted
it, had we known the outcome.
Your Michael
I started to see self sticking out everywhere and in me
too.
The first Sabbath we went to the meeting and during the
meeting I felt like I just wanted to take my heart out and
put it in Michael’s. Like it did not matter what all I was
feeling I just wanted my heart in Michael’s
heart. I wanted Him to have my heart.
That night I wrote Michael:
My dear precious Michael,
I wanted to share something with you.
Today, I went up on the altar rock there. I thought it
would be a good place to go. As I was going there I thought
about how I am going to lay myself down on Father's altar.
As I was going up the hill I thought of how the way to the
place where you lay yourself down is not an easy way. And I
saw how the hill you climb before you get to the altar is
not easy to climb. It was really sweet to me. When I got to
the top I laid down on the altar and spread my arms out
like a cross. I am giving my self over to
Father and letting Him do with me what He wills. I am
abandoning my self to Him. I am yielding to His will. This
is what I wrote when I was up there, "Daddy, here I am, on
the altar of Your will. I am Your sacrifice. Hold me close
to Your heart. Press me in. I need You. Pour Your Holy
Spirit into me. I lay my self upon You... You are
responsible for me and I trust You. O, how my heart aches
for You. O, how I long for You. I love You, Daddy. I yield
to You my life. You are my Fountain." When I was up there I
felt this peace and rest come over me. I am letting my life
go. Father is in control of me and I only want to do His
will. It doesn't matter what I am feeling. He is my Truth
and Life. He is all that matters.
I
want to go deeper, and whatever it costs me I don't
care.
He is the ache of my heart.
I love you, my precious Michael. I am glad I could see you
today. It won't be long. I know it won't.
Your little Shulamite
His response:
I appreciate very much your sharing. Father cannot deny the
prayer of a heart drawn out to Him. He cannot. He has
answered you. There may be difficulties in your way, but He
will remove them all. He is faithful and He is always
there. Never fear.
Michael
September 24th I was feeling like I wanted resolution with
the whole thing about the consummation with the Seven. I
was feeling the intensity of being toggled back and forth
between it happening and it not happening. I came to the
place where I gave my desire to be physically consummated
to Michael to Father, and I didn’t care what happened I
just wanted to leave this world behind.
The next day I wrote this to Michael:
My dear Love,
I love you! My heart longs for You. Father is taking me
deeper and deeper into His trust. I am letting go. I am
His. He may do as He pleases with me. He is the continual
cry of my heart. Whatever happens I don't care; I only want
to leave this world behind, my world, and be drawn deep
into His heart. I want to forever be lost in Him. Here is
my heart.
Forever Your Shulamite
When I read the conclusion for the vision I was very
thankful that Father brought it. But it was hard
for me in another way because I still desired to be
intimate with Michael. But I had to continually give
it to Father and tell Him, “Your will be done.” I saw with
what Father told me about the consummation would happen
with the Seven, I saw that Father may tell us something and
we believe it will happen a certain way, but we don’t
always know how Father will fulfill His word.
I wrote this to Michael the 26th:
My Dear Precious Michael,
After I read the
conclusion I felt very much at peace. It hasn't changed my
mind. I still want to go all the way.
I
still ache for Father.
I love you, Michael.
Your little Eleana
He replied:
Dear little Eleana,
Yes, keep going all the way. You are not cast off. What I
saw in the whole process is that there are some, who did
not believe, and who made Father's
working hard, who are cast off, for they have chosen their
own way of defending their own selves. God is a mean
offensive spirit to them, and they want Him to leave them
alone. Every purpose Father takes us through is for our
good and our preparation. The Seven Messengers should now
get ready for their work, by being alert and awake, and
separating from every dark spirit of unbelief.
Your Michael
I wrote Michael the 27th, Wednesday:
My Precious Michael,
This morning I was feeling this ache in my heart very
intense and I was greatly feeling my need of Father, and
not being able to do anything about what I was feeling, but
having to lay down completely and die to it all and let go.
This song was on my heart.
You are the apple of my eye, Oh Lord
And I set my face as a flint toward You
Oh, how my heart swells with such desire
It's as a fire that wholly burns for You
Come and fill me up
Have Your way, my Lord
You are my True Love
I am Yours, my Lord
Then I opened an email Ami sent me yesterday and she made
me a blog.
At the very bottom of the page it says,
"Now
I lay me down to die, without a word, without a sigh
Trusting in my Father's quest; the only thing I know is
rest."
It is exactly what I was experiencing and it encouraged me
much. Truly laying down has been much of my experience
here. Yours Alone (I am alone, but not alone, for I have
Father.)
His response:
Thank you precious little friend. Father is working for you
and in you.
Your Michael
Later that day I wrote this in my journal:
Here I am, laying down on Your solid rock.
Here I am, Your yielded one.
Here I am, Your broken one.
Here I am, trusting You.
Here I am, believing You.
Here I am, no other I can do.
I rest in You, my Joy and Life.
I hold to You and let all others pass.
I let Your ache in my heart be.
I'll let.
If hurt, pain, agony, and heart ache come,
I won't let go the One I love.
It is worth all to have You.
I lay before You.
I lay with You.
I let You heal me, touch me, hold me, know me.
O, how I ache for You.
I let You be in me, work in me, through me.
I draw You close and hold You, O, my precious Husband.
I press Your heart to mine.
Skin
to skin, I
hold You.
I let You go deep and let You consume me in You.
I have seen You face to face.
No longer can I hold back my heart,
for I now know that I am Yours and You are mine.
Through all the pain, I'll come through victorious.
You are my Victory.
Victory has me.
Michael’s response to me when I sent it to Him:
Truly little one, your heart is open and yielding. Your
earth is letting you go, and you are happy to have it let
you go. The old world that you longed for is the only pain
there was. You mourned the end of yourself and of your
natural things. You go to your funeral and cry there by
your casket. But after the mourning is over, there will be
only rejoicing, for the dead man you left behind, can no
more draw you away to himself. You are free.
Michael
The
first time I laid skin to skin with Michael I had this
unsettled feeling but I could not identify what is
was. It was
almost like there was something in me that was not giving
over to Him completely.
I have felt it each time I have laid naked with
Michael.
Thursday,
I was thinking about it and wondered if it had anything to
do with my mom and dad and that I never really got
permission from them for me to lay naked with Michael
except that they trusted Him. I still felt I didn't have
permission. I felt like my mom and dad had control over me
in a way, and I felt I wanted to be free. It troubled me
because it seemed to keep me from fully giving over to
Michael. Like there was still a wall in between and I
wanted it broke down. I didn't want it there
anymore.
I
emailed Michael and He told me, ”Yes little friend, I would
say that you see it right. You felt a check, and it was
probably connected with your parents… I did notice, however, that you
were mixed in your emotions. This is something that would
be necessary for you to get clear about with Father and
your parents… Your parents will never be clear about these
things, until you are. You are mixed, and so they are mixed
in their view of it.
Friday, I wrote this to Michael:
My Dear Precious Michael,
I know I am guilty, but I don't condemn my self. It is who
I am. But I feel at rest and I don't have to try to change
me. It is ok. In this place of rest it seems all other
things pass away, and I forget my self and my
self's 'salvation.' I loose my self. There is no
'salvation' for my self. All my anxiety leaves, my constant
troubling over whether I am doing what Father is telling
me, my fear of being drawn out in the world, all those
things and I think much more. I really feel I am resting.
REALLY! It is like a deep quietness in my soul. When things
come up in me, feelings,
anxiety, fear, thoughts, if I let them go and lay them down
instead of trying to resist them, they seem to disappear.
It is hard to explain it.
Nothing is my responsibility but to follow Father and do
what He says. How my heart aches for Him, and I need ever
more of Him.
I love you, Michael.
Your little Eleana
His reply:
Little Friend,
I appreciate hearing how your heart is processing things.
Sometimes a soul will do something that he is not really
clear about, as you did. God does not condemn you, but
instead, you learn from it. You learn to do only those
things you are clear about. Things you are not clear about,
will be on hold, for Father has not cleared them yet.
Your Michael
That Sabbath I read this and it was really sweet to me:
“The prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me.”
That day things started to open up to and I shared it in an
email with Michael:
My Dear Precious Michael,
I just wanted
to share what has been opening up to me. I was visiting
Mother
(One of the Two Witnesses- Editor's Note)
and we were
talking about my email I sent to You Thursday about I never
really got permission, and my unclearness. As we were
talking about it I saw where it started and that was when I
asked my mom and dad about laying on the bed with You. Deep
in my heart I wanted to lay naked and skin to skin with You
in Your bed with You but I remember feeling like I
couldn't. I also remember feeling afraid to. So I was mixed
in what I really wanted. I was telling my mom and dad I
wanted to lay with You on Your bed with Your and my clothes
on, but in my heart I really wanted to lay skin to skin
with You in Your bed. So that is when it started. It
was so clear to me when I saw it and it made so much sense
to me. My mom and dad probably felt my uncertainty when I
talked to them. Well, when I saw these things I then wanted
to share them with my mom and dad, but just could not. As I
was laying on my bed in my tent I realized that I have a
wall in between my mom and dad and I that is keeping me
from being vulnerable and naked with them. I have shut
myself off from them. I cannot be naked and vulnerable with
them. Father is going to have to break my wall down because
I cannot. Father is turning the light on, on things that I
have never seen or knew about. I forgot what evening it
was, it may have been yesterday, but I was feeling my
longing desire to be free of the
chains I feel on me and my heart was just aching. I
realized today that I was feeling the longing desire to be
free of this wall I have put up to protect myself from my
mom and dad. I am longing to be free to be naked and
vulnerable with them without holding anything back. I think
this is the same wall I have felt with You. It has bound me
and now I want to be free and Father is freeing me or I
know I would not be seeing what I have been.
As I was walking from Mother's too my grandma's all of a
sudden I started to whistle a tune. I then realized what it
was and I heard Father singing to me:
"Be blest, My soul, your Father's on your side. Yield
trustingly, as I now bring you through. Leave all to Me to
order and provide. Your change has come, I faithfully will
prove. Be blest, My soul, your Best, your heavenly Friend,
through well-thought ways gives your expected end."
It was almost like Father put that song right in my mouth
because I think I started to sing something else and then I
all of a sudden started to sing that one. It was really
sweet to me and it blessed me a lot.
He is responsible for it all and I am trusting Him. I know
He is working and I am letting Him and not helping Him. I
can't help Him. It actually sounds funny to think that I
need to help Father. :-)
I love You!
Your little Eleana
He replied:
Yes, little Eleana, and I have felt it from here. I knew
you would not be coming back until you were free. This is
the work that has been put upon you now, and the Father has
encouraged you.
Can you just accept your parents as Father?
They are only
reflecting back to you your own doubts and fears. Would you
not want to free them? You have bound them up and chained
them by your great faith in them chaining you. Let them go
free little one. Let Father give them the freedom you want.
Talk with them, and show them your vulnerability. Then they
can receive vulnerability from you. Don't be
afraid, for your Parents will not hurt you. Neither will I.
So it is a phantom that you are afraid of.
You have stood in
your own way.
Your Michael
I talked to my parents that night and shared with them my
emails with Michael and His responses. They were fine about
it all. I still did not feel resolved about it. But Michael
told me that it sounded like it was just in me that needed
to be resolved now.
Sunday I
talked with my mom and most of which was of her own
personal things. I was continually telling her that she was
wrong basically. Finally, at some point it our
conversation I felt done talking to her and
trying to tell her how wrong she was. I just wanted to let
her go. Then she started to change in what she was saying
and I just listened to her. A little while later my mom
said, “Have you notice something change in our conversation
in the last 10 or 15 minutes?” I told her about what had
happened inside of me. She had noticed it.
In our talk, my mom said something about that she just
wanted us to let her go and let her be free. When she said
that I could not see how I had been binding her to me.
After I talked to Michael on the phone I all of a sudden
saw it. When I saw it I just wanted to let her go free. I
wanted to let her go.
I was done talking to her telling her how wrong she was. I
just wanted to love her and let her be who she is instead
of trying to make her be someone she is
not.
The 4th I sent this email to Michael:
My Dear Precious Michael,
Father told this to me yesterday evening and I wanted to
share it with You.
"Here I am, your Sacrifice. I lay with you. Let Me speak
into you My Life. Let Me hold you. Let Me draw you. Let Me
touch your heart. You are precious to Me, and I will not
let you go. How I ache for you, My dear
little one, My little Shulamite. You hath doves eyes, My
eyes. You are fairer than the lilies. You are altogether
lovely. You are My delight."
This is what He told me this morning.
"You are beautiful, My love. I see no spot in you. You are
My pure, chaste Virgin, My little Angel and Messenger. O,
how I love and adore you, My bride. Let Me ravish you with
My love. Let Me wrap you up in it and consume you, and
change you. Let Me shine on your face with My Glory, My
Son. Let Me adorn you as My special Bride. Let Me love you
like no other. I do not fault you. I just see Me in you,
and love you."
This evening I was thinking about when you told me that I'm
walking down the road and I start feeling bad about myself
I can still always do what He says. I realized that when I
have felt bad about myself I thought He was gone and left
me, and so how could I do what He tells me when I think He
is not there. I was just seeing unbelief that I have
harbored and
wanted.
There is just no hope for my self. I am just as corrupt as
the world is and my heart continually cries out to Father.
I need Him. O, how I need Him. And O, how I need Him more.
I love you, Michael.
Your little Eleana
He replied:
I appreciate very much hearing how Father speaks to you.
That is how I feel also. I want you to know Father
intimately, but to do that you need to fully know yourself.
I have seen you come to this time and again. You are more
and more knowing yourself. When you are washed away, then
only your True Love will remain. You will not feel bad
again.
Your Michael
The 6th, Friday night I came to the place of just letting
go of everything. Letting go of God, letting go my
salvation. I wrote this in my journal Sabbath: Last night I
experienced a deep abandoning of myself to Father in a way
I have never experienced before. Like a complete letting go
of everything; a letting go of God, my salvation, my
self-protection, like a giving up of everything including
God. Nothing matters when you give everything up. There is
nothing to protect… With the experience I had last night it
is like I let my chains that I have bound myself with fall
off me. I let me go free, instead of trying to make me be
good. It is hard to explain all that is inside of me.
That
week I came to the place of being my mom and dad’s daughter
instead of the mother. I just wanted to help them. I
accepted them for who they are. Friday night I dreamed about
them and in the dream we were having a meeting with
Michael, and He was talking about those who were cast off
and He said that my mom and dad were not cast off. I
thought it was very sweet. I am not casting my mom and dad
off either.
During the meeting that morning something changed inside of
me and instead of trying to figure out what Michael was
saying and get it, I was just letting His words go into my
heart and letting Father take care of the rest. If I forgot
what Michael talked about, it was ok. Father was
responsible for it. I just let His words disappear in my
heart.
One day Shekel and I took my mom and dad's dog for a walk
and I wanted to go see the Catholic church so we went to
the front of the church and there was a man there with a
dog. He started asking questions and he asked if Shekel and
I were staying with them, and at that moment I felt like I
was talking right to the devil. I told the man "NO."
Sunday, I wanted to go to the Catholic church and see their
service. So my dad, Shekel, and I went. It was the first
time I have ever been in a church service of any kind. When
we went to the church service I found out that that man was
the priest of that Catholic church. When we first went in,
the priest was having the people call him father. He said,
“Say it again,” so the people said, “My father.” My dad
thinks that he may have been drunk. I know one thing that
he acted real weird. He talked about marriage and a lot of
what he said didn't seem to connect to anything and it
didn't make sense. It was confusion. He said some things
that Michael has said, but it had a different spirit.
I was feeling very furious. At times it was stronger than
other times. Shekel and I were standing at the end of the
pews. I felt like I couldn't leave until I said something.
Shekel also felt the same. At one point it seemed that it
was about to end, and I was forced to go up to were the
priest was standing, on the backside of a table. He was
talking about blood and bread. I don't think I was really
paying attention to what he was saying. He kept on talking
like he didn't even know I came up and was standing in
front of him. I turned around and was looking at the
people. Then I turned and looked at him again and then at
some point this other man brought some water in a thing to
him and the priest said he was now going to sprinkle peace
on them. Then he took a scoop out of the water that the man
brought and threw water in my face. It wasn't long after
that, that I said, "Excuse me
sir. You have many blood on your hands." He kept on talking
like I wasn't even there. He was holding his head down
almost like he was trying to hide. Then I spoke up even
louder and said, "Your eyes are blind and your ears are
dumb. You are deceived." As I was saying that, he stopped
talking and was calling for a man named Russ. He was
putting his head up like he was trying to ignore me.
Then the man who
gave the priest the water said that I was disrupting their
service and they asked me to leave. I didn't know what to
do at first but then decided that I should respect them so
I started to walk back to the doors, and this man, I
thought, was going to walk me out so I ran because I didn't
want him to. I went back to where Shekel was and was
standing there for a
bit then a man came up to me and said that father (the
priest) wanted me to leave. So my dad, Shekel and I left.
It was a very interesting experience. I almost felt like I
wasn't even there, and I had no fear of them or what they
could do to me. I didn't even think of what they could do.
I know what I did was not for anyone
there but for me. It was something I needed to do. They
have what they want. That is why they do what they do. It
was very yucky and made me way more grateful for our
meetings. Our time with Michael is truly full of Life and
Light
After I went to the Catholic church I felt like I shouldn't
have and I thought about going to the priest and
apologizing for interrupting their service. Every time I
came to the conclusion that I would go talk to him it left
me and I couldn't make myself go talk to him. I started to
feel very confused and I could not tell anything apart.
Then Father reassured me that it was ok what I did. I
realized that the devil was accusing me of what I did and
that is why I was feeling the way I was. I am letting
Father take care of what I did and I don't feel I need to
talk to the priest. I trust Father.
Tuesday, I was feeling like when am I going to be done?
When will I stop going around in circles? When will I want
to be done? I saw that it would take a miracle, an act of
Father, to deliver me.
Wednesday I woke up and I felt I needed to be alone. I went
for a walk, but I was feeling inside like I could not be
quiet. Like I was just full of noise, and I was stressing
out about it. Then I realized that I could tell Father what
I was feeling and that I could trust Him. I told Father
what I was feeling and gave it up. After I told Father I
felt drawn to be alone and I could be quiet. This is what
Father told me while I was on my walk. "Though you make
your bed in hell, lo, I am with you there as well, and I
will bring you out. I will take you up in My arms and press
you into Myself. You will never see your earth, again. All
you will see is Me. Trust Me, and I will do it."
I was feeling like Father was going to have someone take my
place as one of the Seven. I gave it all to Father and gave
it up.
Thursday I was feeling like I was just going to stay in
this place of laying everything down and feeling like it
was just going to stay the same and Father would not change
me. I was feeling like Father would never deliver me, and
He would not give me to pour plagues out. But I had to lie
that all down, too. I want to let go of everything.
Something else I have had to let go is Michael. I have had
to let go of being connected to Him, being close to Him. I
have had to let go of everything, including the Pearl of
Great Price.
There is so much that goes on inside of me that I don't
know if I could tell anyone all of it. It seems so hard to
speak my heart, because it seems I don't know how to say
what is in there. What I do say doesn't seem to come out in
the right words.
My heart cries out to Father. I ache so much.
I shared the things upon my heart with Michael and He
replied:
Yes, little friend, I know.
Michael
After I shared it with Michael I read the following and
sent it to Michael:
“Behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places
whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this
land; for I will not leave thee until I have done that
which I have spoken to thee of. For oh! I love thee far to
well to leave thee in thy self-made hell.”
He replied:
Thank you little friend. The universe will watch as you
receive the desires of your heart.
Michael
Later, this song came to me and I sent it to Michael:
I can, I can, with the great I AM
I can do the unbelievable
I can, I can, and I know I will
Cause with Him all things are possible
Yes, with Him all things are possible
So, if God calls me to climb a mountain
I won't turn away
I'll follow Him
Cause by His strength
He will make a way
That’s why I say,
I can, I can, with the great I AM
I can do the unbelievable
I can, I can, and I know I will
Cause with Him all things are possible
Yes, with Him all things are possible
His reply:
Little Eleana,
If you can, then Father can do anything in you that He
wants to do. If you won't turn away, then Father will not
turn away. If you can do the unbelievable, then God will do
the unbelievable in you. With God, all things are as
possible as you believe that they are.
Your Michael
Friday, October 13th, I wrote this to Michael:
My Dear Precious Michael,
The last few days I have been desiring Father to give me
the conclusion to all that has happened for the past few
months, to give me deliverance from myself. I realized that
I can choose to step into Father’s deliverance for me and
stop wondering when it will come. I can step into it no
matter how I feel. I saw that I don't have to feel what I
feel. I saw that I just
make what I feel up, and I feel the way I do because I want
to feel that way. It is very simple. I can step into His
resolution and stop living in and believing that I am not
resolved. I can live in Father’s reality, NOW, this very
moment, not in the future. And "I DO".
Here I come.
I love you, Michael.
Your little Shulamite
Father, I yield to Thee my life
Thine only shall it be
From earthly pleasures, sin and strife
I've turned, O Lord, to Thee
Unfettered from all earthly ties
From cruel change and scorn
I haste to Thee, where shadows flee
Before the cloudless morn
Father, I yield to Thee my will
I would submissive be
Content to lean upon Thy breast
And hear Thee speak to me
Grant me a heart in tune with Thine
To see as Thou dost see
That each desire, each word and thought
May breathe, dear Lord, of Thee
Father, I yield to Thee my all
For now in Thee I find
Within the haven of Thine arms
A love most wondrous kind
My doubts and tears lie all behind
Eternal bliss before
Lost in Thy love and wholly Thine
I'll rest forevermore
You are my Vision, O, Lord of my heart
Nothing can be to me all that You are
You are my best thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Your Presence my light
You are my Wisdom, You are my true Word
I ever with You, and You with me, Lord
You, my true Father, and I Your true child
You in me dwelling, and I with You one
You are my yielding, my Sword, and my Might
You are my Dignity, and my Delight
You are my soul's Shelter, and my high Tower
Raise me on heavenward, O Pow'r of my Pow'r
Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise
You, my inheritance, now and always
You, and you only, are first in my heart
High King of heaven, my Treasure You are
Husband of heaven, my only true Love
I rest in heaven's Joy - Your only Son
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
You are my Vision, my Lover, my All
"Precious morning, dawn is now breaking, how My soul
ascends, I see now the vision, nothing left hidden, all
truth now blends, Coming storm, great upheaval, though now
no fear, and no more grieving, How long I have waited, all
things ungated, all My Sons are leaving.
Precious noon, now appointed, all is light, and there is no
blight, Close to My heart, I draw her in, her faith
unfolding in My sight My soul is stirring, in sweet
remembrance, holding My true love, I hold her face, looking
upward, treasuring the promise above.
The bride's tears dry now, for I have applied now, My Own
blood, Her child's light, now in her eyes, always wise,
escapes the flood, My heart is opened, revealed, exposed,
and all is plainly stated, Looking up now, eyes wide with
expecting, her breath now bated.
Precious night, darkness now showing, this place of settled
glory, Stars appearing, moonlight clearing, make bright the
present story, Warmth enfolding, precious resting place,
for darkness has no fear Dawning is coming, the light now
awakens, all Sons now hear.
This is the day that the Lord has made, the day of His
appearing, The false hearted, shifty eyed, lovers of their
stomach, ever fearing, I see them no more, as the smoke
ascending, winds blow them all away. It has come from the
bride, born out of her side, the Child is her Way,
No more darkness, nothing hidden, all exposed and made
plain, I stand naked, clothed only in brightness, all
exposed in latter rain, My songs are ringing, I'm ever
singing, sweet melodies ascending, Now all is clean, in
promised drops, all sparkles in the transcending.
Precious bride, My love imploring, come upon My promised
bed, For I Am on you, enfolded in you, eyes meeting, earth
fleeting and dead, Lay upon Me, now hold Me closely, never
let Me leave your room, You now know Me, never doubting,
Child conceived within your womb.
Growing now, showing now, made all in all, in the present
dawn, The rod of iron, now clearly ruling, eyes flashing,
now sword drawn Son coming out now, standing tall now, His
brightness fills the room, His Voice awakens, now greatly
brightens, driving away the gloom.
He mounts His horse, white in the glistening light, muscles
protruding, The others follow in close succession, now the
faithless fear intruding, The steed rears back, one with
the Son, knowing now the time is here, The sickle thrust
in, the earth in its harvest, blood flows, all souls fear.
The brightness increases, the heat releases, souls pale,
others are black, No more appealing, now no more
concealing, the heavens roll back For the Voice of the One,
sitting on His horse, now shocking, then shaking, No more
intercession, no more succession, all things now quaking.
The bride is now quiet, in her repose, in her Husband's
bosom lying, Now she knows, her face glows, for in her
garments no more trying, Strangely quiet, waiting,
watching, delivered by her rising Son, Her heart connected,
now ever united, for in this end, her battle's won.
~Michael~"